irma's picture

Paper can't win

Mon, 26/11/2007 - 16:07 -- irma

I got this off ... the 2nd coolest site on the web!

I Understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there is no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? why aren't sheets of college rule notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole.

irma's picture

Go Bokke!

Mon, 22/10/2007 - 12:09 -- irma

We had an awesome rugby day on Saturday at Andres' place. It was marvelous winning the World Cup. Noel took all the pictures during the evening... I'll get that from him.

The only picture I took was when Hennie and Noel stopped at my place for some coffee on Sunday morning on their way home from Andres'.



irma's picture

It's only Tuesday

Tue, 16/10/2007 - 17:22 -- irma
RANDBURG, JHB—After running a thousand errands, working hours of overtime, and being stuck in seemingly endless gridlock traffic , millions of South Africans were disheartened to learn that it was, in fact, only Tuesday.

"Tuesday?" Ferndale resident Christeen Erwee said. "How in the hell is it still Tuesday?"

Tuesday's arrival stunned a nation still recovering from the nightmarish slog that was Monday, leaving some to wonder if the week was ever going to end and others to ask what was taking Friday so damn long."Ugh," said Erwee, echoing a national sense of frustration over it not even being Wednesday at the very least.

According to suddenly depressed sources, the feeling that this week may in fact last forever was further compounded by the thought of all the work left to be done tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and, if South Africans make it that far, possibly even Friday.

Fears that the week could actually be going backwards were also expressed.

"Not only do South Africans have most of Tuesday morning to contend with, but all of Tuesday afternoon and then Tuesday night," eConsultant spokesman Laurence Scott-Parkin said. "If our calculations are correct, there is a chance we are in effect closer to last weekend than the one coming up."

Added Scott-Parkin: "Fuck."

Reports that this all has to be some kind of sick joke could not be confirmed as of press time.

Isolated attempts to make the day go faster, such as glancing at watches or clocks every other minute, compulsively checking e-mail, hiding in the office bathroom, or fidgeting have also all proven unsuccessful, sources report.

The National Institutes of Standards and Technology, which oversees the official time of South Africa, is flatly denying that it has slowed or otherwise tampered with the progression of time.

Bussiness owner Andre Laas released a statement addressing widespread speculation that it might as well be Monday for all anyone cares.

"We understand this day has been tough on many of you, what with meetings mercilessly dragging on and an entire stack of files still left to organize," Laas's statement read in part. "Yet we urge South Africans to show patience. The midweek hump is just around the corner, and we have strong reason to believe that Saturday will be here before you know it."

"Go about your lives as best you can," the statement continued. "Do not, we repeat, do not take a sick day, as it'll make the rest of the week that much harder to endure."

In the meantime, citizens are doing their best to cope with the interminable week, though Tuesday is still hours away from ending.

"The more I try to speed it along, the longer it almost seems to take," said Irma van Straaten, a Johannesburg-based businesswoman who has been waiting for today to be over since it first began earlier this morning. "Honestly, today could not have come at a worse time this week."

In the meantime, the latest wristwatch consultations indicate that it is somehow still Tuesday, if that makes any sense at all.
irma's picture

Racing in Vereniging

Fri, 12/10/2007 - 16:23 -- irma

Sunday the 7th of October I got up at 3am, got ready on time and then waited another half an hour for Hennie to pick me up so that we can meet Andre, get in his car and head to Vereniging for a fun day of racing....

What I have learnt is that if you follow these 3 easy steps... you too can be a professional racer just like Andre and Hennie

(Click on the thumbnails for larger demonstrations)


Lesson 1: Keep your eyes on the road
Lesson 2: Stay in your car at all times
And finally Lesson 3: Keep keeping your hands on the wheel

For the rest of the pics click here



Subscribe to RSS - blogs